Lynn V

Am I cheating?

Today and the last few days, I don’t feel as depressed & frozen as I used to feel. I actually feel lighter & more free & like things are turning around for me. I am not used to feeling so positive & free. At the same time I find myself thinking that I am somehow cheating on my depression & anxiety & frozeness. It feels like that is what I’m supposed to be because it is what I’ve been for most of my life. I’m trying so hard to figure out how to consolidate the two but I don’t know what to do with it. It’s just where I’m at right now. Afraid to turn fully the corner because then I’d be leaving behind what has made me who I am for most of my life. Definitely need to work on this more.

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A Rollercoaster

I feel like I’m on this rollercoaster that is never ending. I’m so not ready for this rush of things that I’d suppressed over the years. Not at all. I want to run & hide from it but if I do I’ll just be continuing this unhealthy pattern & I don’t want to be that person anymore. I’m going to keep putting in the work & stay on this rollercoaster. Lord please help me.

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