Awake

Some nights I wake up just like tonight and I can’t fall back asleep. I don’t know what it is that wakes me up. Maybe a bad dream. I’m not sure. In the moments that I’m trying to fall back asleep all these thoughts start swirling in my head, sometimes about current things and sometimes about traumas that I’ve suppressed and sometimes about my thoughts on where I’m going in the future and sometimes a mix of things. Tonight, I’m thinking about therapy and about things going on at my job and how I’m going to stand up for myself and about how much I miss my husband at night. It’s been a tough transition with him working at night now. I’m also thinking about how my journey to become a better whole version of me includes getting back in shape and how I’m going to now commit to that. Mostly what I’m thinking about is how I can’t wait to get to a point where I enjoy every moment of life and how I’m so proud to be my son’s mother & can’t wait to see what he accomplishes in his life. So now I’m going to go back to trying to fall asleep. I have to be up in 102 minutes at 5:35 AM.